I work in virtual reality since 2014, when I have fallen in love with this technology after having tried an Oculus DK2. In these years, I have always been an advocate for it, saying that it will be pervasive for our lives in 5-10 years, and I have fought against all those people saying that it was a fad. But today, I have changed my mind: it has been scientifically proven that VR is a fad and so I’m going down this hype train and you should do that as well.
A consortium made by all the major XR companies of the world (Facebook, HTC, Microsoft, Google, etc…) called Kronos has fed all the data related to VR of the last 50 years into a big AI, to get analytics and predictions about the future of this technology. Among the data fed to the algorithm, we had things like:
- The technologies employed;
- Sales of VR headsets;
- Available content;
- Prices;
- Statistics of usage of VR headsets;
- Satisfaction factor;
- Etc…
The companies of the consortium expected to see forecasts of big sales for the future and were curious to see how fast they should have pushed marketing. But actually, the reliable algorithm gave different results.
First of all, it highlighted what are the principal uses of virtual reality today. Actually, notwithstanding all the bombastic talks about VR being able to make the future a better place, or that VR can help companies in working faster and better, these are the actual uses of VR:
So, VR is useful only for three things: wasting your time slicing cubes in a compulsory way, become a meme and delight your private parts. According to the algorithm, sooner or later, the first two groups of people will come out from their addiction thanks to medical help, while the third group will become blind because of its activity and so won’t be able to use VR anymore.
This will create a serious drop in the sales of VR headsets: in 3 years, no one will buy a VR headset anymore, and VR will become a memory of the past, a bit like the Commodore, the CD-ROM, and the songs of the Backstreet Boys. There will still be some nerds around blathering words like “Metaverse”, but there will be medical facilities helping them.
According to the Artificial Intelligence, Virtual Reality had already its possibility to become mainstream when Mattel offered that weird glove, or when Jessica Fletcher tried it… but if using the Virtuality in the 80s with two displays of 276×372 pixels each hasn’t make VR mainstream, how can it become successful today?
The reason is in the intrinsic uselessness of VR, that has been mathematically computed. So, it is not because of lack of content, ergonomics or price, like all those bearded guys have told us in all these years. It is just because it is the technology with the highest uselessness factor among the ones of the latest years.
The report continues quoting Tim Apple, that has said that while AR is the future and will change our lives, VR will be useful maybe just as a torture mean to make people puke in Guantanamo Bay. And if he says that, then it is true. VR is a technology that encloses you from your surroundings and the people around you, and if you wear a VR headset, you can’t ignore all your friends and parents next to you by scrolling your Facebook feed on your phone. That’s bad.
After reading these results, the big companies are already planning running away from VR. Oculus has already left Lenovo to manufacture its latest VR headset; Google has turned the factory creating its 6 DOF controllers in ones creating sex toys; HTC has switched to other technologies of the moment and now is creating drones powered by AI that will exchange goods through the blockchain and will communicate with humans via BCI (for the enterprise market, of course).
And I’m following their example. I have accepted the fact that VR is a fad and so I have decided to shut down this useless VR blog. I will substitute it with a website talking about more interesting topics. I have made some research and I realized that the internet nowadays is just porn and kittens, so I will make a website about these two topics. I hope you will all like my decision and will follow me on my new website PornAndKittens.com. I promise you that it will be the best place on the web, where you will find everything you need to spend your days ignoring all that happen around you. You won’t hear from me again about that fad technology that is VR and about those useless things like the Oculus Quest and the Valve Index that no one will buy. And also screw that Half Life VR, I only play Fortnite and Minesweeper.
I hope you will enjoy my decision and will follow me on my new platform. Subscribe to my newsletter for more porn and kittens starting from tomorrow.
I also want to wish you all a wondeful April, 1st!